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Beziehung ja/ nein?

Erstellt von wayne, 25.03.2011, 21:21 Uhr · 133 Antworten · 12.819 Aufrufe

  1. #81
    Avatar von DisainaM

    Registriert seit
    Fie Geschichte eines Schweden, der sich auf die Beziehung mit einer gesponserten Thai eingelassen hat,
    faellt mir spontan ein.

    aus den Loser Diaries
    living with a sponsored girl, sponsoring

    before i write my trip report i have thought hard about many things and came to decide yes i should write this and see who is has had the same experience as me, so here goes

    day one arrive at bangkok airport and my girl is waiting for me on the upper level by food court and shops where she has always meet me.
    we kiss and say hello to each other then i ask her to go buy me cha- nom-yin to which she does then we go outside to have a smoke before we catch a taxi back to her room,
    on the way to her room she says that we go see her mama first but i say better to drop of my case at hers first, anyway arrive at where her mama lives as i have been there many times and remembered the area well to which see was happy that i knew were i was,
    anyway we go into mama,s place and she seems happy that i come as we planned to go up north in the morning to issan with mama, then we head out of mama,s to my girls place which took me by surprise as while online she told me it was about half hour away from her mums place, but turned out not to be to far away which was good as i was feeling tired after my flight and wanted to re-lax.
    gets into her room and puts my case in the corner of the room and lay down on the bed and chill while she makes me a cup of tea, then she joins me on the bed and starts to tell me about her sponsor and how long she has been with him and where they meet etc, and then i said to her thought you told me your sponsor wanted to speak with you today and she replyed yes he speak before i come airport to meet you so i say ok when he want speak again with you she say tomorrow but i remind her that we go issan in the morning and how she can speak with him, to which she replyed that she would take her laptop with her to issan so i said ok np.
    so it is getting on for time as it is around eleven in the evening and we have to be up at 4am to leave at 6am to go get bus from mo-chit bus station in bangkok so we have a little fun then hit the sack for some sleep. alarm goes of at 4am to wake us up and we shower and she makes me another cup of tea which i drink alot of while in thailand, then we leave her place and head over to her mums to pick her up then catch a taxi to mo-chit station,when we arrive at mo-chit the girl at the ticket office says that there is a bus leaving at 7.30am do we wish to take it or catch the one at 9am, so i tell her we would take the 7.30am bus which would get us into mahasarakhalm early. and we could go straight to the hotel we had resevered 2 rooms for before i had arrived in bangkok, arrive in issan around 3.30pm in the afternoon and all is good catch a little tuk-tuk to the hotel and check in to our rooms mama in one and me and her in another. then she recieve,s phone call to say her son is on his way to the hotel as he will be staying with us over the weekend.and he will stay in room with her mum. will write more tomorrow as my girl has just skyped me and wants go online now

    yes cha-nom-yin is ice tea with milk and sorry if i can not put the right marks and points in the correct place.anyway to carry on from where i left of before, her son is on his way to our hotel and we go down stairs to wait for him with grandma who is bringing him to town as they live about 30 minutes outside of town,

    they arrive and we then go into town to get some food and go to the festival which is going on over the weekend and during our time at the festival my thai girl gets some text messages from a couple of guys she had been with and they wanted her to send them some things by post back to them which i asked her what was it she was sending them and she tells me it is max factor make up which she has been doing for sometime, to which i explain to her that it would be

    better if she stop as she could get into trouble if she carried on and the other guy asked her were are you on his text message to which i said why he ask you that and she said he only friend to which i said friend would not ask you that kind of thing and she say he is in australia so i said ok never mind. anyway back to the hotel and all is going well then it is time for her to go online with her sponsor and chat so we go into our room from her mama,s room and she gets call

    from her sponsor can you go online and she says yes. they chat for a while and i just listen to her and she keeps looking at me to see if am ok to which i give her the ok sign and she chats with him some more and he thinks she is in village in grandma,s home which looks nothing like a bedroom from a hotel but he can not work that out looking at her online, anyway go sleep and wake up around 7 am in the morning go down for breakfast and then back up to room to shower

    and get ready for the day. we go to the shopping mall and buy some things for her son and then he wants to go play games on the upper level and then go watch movie to which i say is ok, during the time i go toilet a few times before we go cinema then we go back hotel for a few hours rest to which during our time back at the hotel she goes online to send her sponsor a email to which i look at what she is writing and she says to him nice to hear your voice today when i say when

    you hear when you hear his voice and she say he call her while i go toilet but she forget to say to me and i say ok np. anyway we head out again this evening to the festival again and then again another one of her customers texts her asking how she is so she ask me what do i want her to reply so i say up to you what you want to say back to him, anyway back to the hotel and her sponsor calls again can you go online and she says she can not as she is in town and not at home which i new was a lie.
    anyway we sleep and wake up for our last day in town before we head back to bangkok tomorrow and she gets a phone call from grandma saying that she is coming to stay with us for our last day which did not make her mama happy as she would have to share her room with her and the son would sleep with us in our room anyway had a really good day sitting around the river area in a thai style shack eating and chatting etc then head back to the hotel for some sleep before getting the bus back to bangkok in the morning arrive back into bangkok around 4pm and get a taxi to her home and drop mama of also, then while in her home she

    recieves a call from her sponsor can you go online today which she says she can not as she is not at home today but can chat on telephone np. after speaking with him for 20 minutes she asked me when do i want to go pattaya and i said when ever, so she says we go in the morning ok and i say ok, wake up in the morning around 9am and she makes me a cup of tea then hit the shower together before heading out to get a taxi to take us to pattaya around 11am. so we hit pattaya around 12.30 in the afternoon and book into the sabai resort and after checking into our room with-in seconds she gets a phone call which she says to me

    be quiet its her sponsor so i say ok and i her him ask her why she can not go online with him and she say that if she has to keep going into town from village takes long time and that she would be back in bangkok on friday and could speak with him then when she is back at her home. but little does he know she is in pattaya with me for a few days before heading back to her place , anyway we go out to big c and get something to eat then head down to soi 6 to see my friend who has a bar there, then we head to soi 7 to see another friend and finally go round to soi 8 to her ex bar where she worked for 2 months around summer time.

    i asked her if she wanted to go cherry bar with me but she say she could not as her sponsors friend have bar close to cherry bar so i say ok np and we just stay at her ex bar for a few hours then head back to the hotel, the following day we have arranged with two of her and my friends to go out in the evening and have a meal and some drinks and that i would pay there bar when we go there later in the evening so we arrange for them to meet us at our hotel and go for a nice meal up naklua then we head down to soi7 to pay

    first bar fine and have a few drinks then we head down to simon,s complex in walking street and pay the second bar fine and have a few more drinks before heading back to our hotel and giving both girls some money for the time. the following day we are heading back to my girls home as her sponsor thinks she is going back friday so he can chat with her online and we arrange for a taxi come pick us up at the hotel and take us back to bangkok where we arrive back around 2pm and i tell her i will have a nap before we go out get some food. will write the next part later today.

    Next chapter will post photo's at the end or during the story.

    Anyway, after arriving back in Bangkok at my girl place, I take a nap and wake up around 6 pm, have a shower, and then we go down to the local market to buy some food for me and her and mama. After getting back from the market, she gets a phone call from her sponsor saying he cannot go online with her on Friday as he will not be arriving at his port until Saturday morning to which she says ok to him and will speak online on Saturday. But today is only Thursday and it is 2 days away.

    Anyway, that evening she tells me all about him what he works as and where he is at the present time and how she first met him. And it turns out when I was looking after her for 5 years and sending her money, she met him at a barber shop in Soi 8 just under 3 years ago where her friend worked and she used to go chat with her there for a few hours every now and then.

    So now, I am thinking this guy was ....... you while I was looking after you and now I am doing the same to him years later as they say what goes around comes around. He is not far from Thailand working but can not get time to come often as he would like.

    Anyway, after some time chatting with my girl, I ask her, does she wish to carry on with him or does she want me to be part of her life again, to which she said that she wanted me and could we get married this year to which I said yes as long as she told me everything and be honest with me about what she has been doing etc as she does not work bar and only done it during the couple of months in September and October last year free-lance.

    As I had to go back to my business last March but sent her money for April but was unable to carry on sending her anything after that and stopped contact with her for the rest of the year. But she kept emailing me all the time asking how things were and why I was not answering phone calls or email etc.

    Anyway, Friday morning wake up and she makes me my cup of tea and sits down with me and asked me could we go to mall Bang Kapi on Saturday to which I asked her why and she says to have our photo's taken. So I say ok, no problem and she gets so excited about having our photos the following day that she cooks me a special meal that day and tells her mama about us getting back together again.

    Anyway, sponsor rings her on Friday evening and says he will be able to speak with her around 7 to 8 pm Saturday. She says ok to him while looking at me wondering what I am thinking in my head. So sleep ok on Friday evening and wake up Saturday to get a taxi to mall Bang Kapi and arrive there around half past ten in the morning so decide to have a coffee first before we go get photos done up stairs.

    While drinking my coffee, I ask her how much to have photos done and she says around 6 thousand baht. So I just say ok and finish my coffee and head on up to the photo shop and look at what type of picture she wants to have done, and no surprise it turns out wedding photos--both Thai and fa-laang dress code and to my surprise they do look good but during our 3 hour time in the photo shop, her sponsor phones her asking her what she was do and she tells him she goes shopping at mall and buy some things then have some food before she goes home.

    Arrive back home and we go down to the local market buy some food to cook which it is now around 6 pm in the evening and she is due to go online with her sponsor in an hour or so. I was looking forward to hearing what she was going to say to him but as time approached and he phoned her to say can she go online now she asks me to turn up the television sound to which I replied, I did not want to listen to the television.

    So she did not look happy knowing that I was going to hear what she said to him, but she had no choice as she decided to pick me instead of him to go with. Anyway, she goes online with him for a couple of hours while I just laugh and listen to there convo, and he is saying that he will be on land for a while as his company are sending some people over to look things over.

    After talking to him, she asked me what we do for Valentine's day and what present I buy for her as it is on Monday and it's now Saturday. So I just say I would like to take her on a cruise for diner, and I would buy her a gold necklace with a love heart to which she said thank you and gave me a big kiss.

    So, now tomorrow we have to go to river city in Bangkok and book tickets for the cruise the following day as it will be busy Valentine's day for sure, so we get a taxi to river city and find that it is not open till after 5 in the evening so we go shopping around Bangkok and have some food while killing time for to go back and get the tickets for our cruise then we have to be back home again as sponsor wants to go online again with her tonight.

    We arrive home just in time to get some food from the shop before she has to go online and sponsor phones and says can she go online now which she does and she asks me again can I turn television on again and I say not want on, but she can not say anything this time as she now knows I want to hear what she says to him and it turns out he is asking her what she been doing with her self and what she does for Valentine's day to which she replied to him that she goes with her friend and maybe have food and drink with them and that she can not go online with him tomorrow as she would not be home.

    So, he says he would phone her tomorrow evening and speak with her to which she replied ok around 7 as her friend would have music on after that and she would not be able to here phone. Will post more later.

    The next part of the story goes as this:

    We wake up on Valentine's day and my girl makes me my daily cup of tea before we shower and go out and get some food etc.. Then around 2 in the afternoon, she asks me to go with her to salon which I do without asking why and while waiting for her at the salon, I tell her that I am just going to look at some stuff and she says to me if I am going to buy her some gold wait till she is finished and she would go with me so the surprise is out of the window. I will have to let her pick what she likes if she not likes the one I like

    Anyway, she finished in salon and off to the gold shop now to buy her a Valentine's present and I tell her which one I like and she asked to look at it and seemed happy with my choice. So I pay for it and tell her I would like her to wear it tonight when we go out.

    So back to her place and she shows her mum what I bought for her. So we rest for a while before getting ready to go have our Valentine's meal on the Bangkok river cruise which is at 7:30 in the evening, but we have to be there for 6:30 pm to check in and have our photo taken before boarding the boat.

    We get a taxi around 5 pm as it will be busy getting into Bangkok and arrive at river city around just after 6 pm and go check in then have our photo done then we have a drink before we board the boat. While having our drink in the bar police comes from every where and my girl informs me that someone important must be coming, so I ask her to ask someone if they know who it is and she finds out that it is the king's son's wife who is going on the same boat as us for Valentine's. The price of the cruise costs an extra 800 baht each as it was Valentine's day so the total cost came to 4,800 baht for 2 people.

    Anyway, I tell her that I am going outside to have a smoke and will wait outside and if her sponsor calls her to go outside and speak with him as I did not want to be embarrassed if someone heard her talkng with another customer while on a diner cruise with me as this was a 5 star cruise boat.

    So she comes out and says her sponsor is calling her and I show her where to go and chat while I listen to what she said; she tells him she is with her friend and going on a boat which has music and food etc and that she would speak with him tomorrow evening online.

    After she finished speaking with her sponsor we board the boat and leave river city and head up stream till we reach Rami 8 bridge then turn around and head back to river city and the trip was wonderful, and we both enjoyed ourselves and after arriving back at river city we have a drink at the royal orchard hotel for a hour then get a taxi back to her place.

    Following day, we wake up and my girl says she would like to go to the mall so we get a taxi over to mall Bang Kapi and do some shopping and look around the market after wards. I know she has to be back home for around 7 to speak with her sponsor so I say to her we should get a taxi and go home and get some food from the market to cook before she has to go online and speak with her sponsor.

    Sponsor calls around 8 and says can she go online which she does while I lay on the bed listening for over an hour and half and I had to laugh thinking to myself you're the guy who was doing her while I was her sponsor and now I am the guy doing her while your her sponsor. Maybe, if he had asked her to turn her laptop around her room, he would have seen me then things would have to be sorted out.

    Next day we are going to crocodile farm in Bangkok for the day with mama and nephew and she tells him she can not go online with him tomorrow as she is going out with family to crocodile farm etc and would not be back till late. Then he calls her the following day and asked her can she to go online the day after and she tells him she cannot as she is going to temple with her family then to the beach after that.

    We go to crocodile farm and have a really good day without anyone contacting her and the following day we go to temples and then go to Bang Saen and sit on the beach for 4 hours while her family eat and enjoy there day out. The following day sponsor phones again and asked her can she go online later and she tries to ask me if we would be home later as we are going to MBK in Bangkok to pick up our photos we had done, and I say yes we should be home in time for him to speak with her.

    Will write more later.

    So we go to MBK in Bangkok and pick up our photos we had done previous. Then grab something to eat then do a bit of shopping then head home and I ask her what she want to do about sponsor; does she wish to carry on with him or be with me but she does not reply so I say to her that I will give her till 6 pm to think about things and let me know what she decides so I take a nap and wake up around 5:30 pm and have myself a smoke and some beer and wait till 6 pm then I say to her what have you decided to do and she says about what! So I say about sponsor, you want to carry on with him or you want me look after you now, and she says she wants me back in her life again.

    So I say ok and watch some tv then around 8 pm sponsor phones and says to her can she go online and she says give me 5 minutes then hangs up phone. 15 minutes later sponsor phones again so she gives phone to me and I answer it and he says can he speak to her and I say she does not want to talk to him, so he asks me who I am and I tell him.

    Then he asked how long have I been around and I say a while. Why? then he says do you know that she comes to Singapore and we get engaged in December last year and I say no, I did not know that all. I knew was she went to Singapore for her birthday and stayed for 4 or 5 days.

    Then he tells me, he bought her a diamond ring which I did not know about so I go out of her room and speak with him on the front and tell him that I have been with her for 6 years and looking after her most of the time and when he first meet her I was looking after her and he says she has never mentioned me to him.

    Then I tell him she has gone behind my back before and I have forgiven her as I care for her very much and that I let her pick who she wished to be with and that she chooses me. He seemed to be a ok guy from what I was making out on the phone but from the things she told me and showed me what he had been saying to her like you're a ..... and getting a .... in your ..... and in your mouth etc. when things where not going right for them online and when he went in a mood and started swearing at her etc..

    So anyway, after speaking with her sponsor on the phone I went back into her room and sat down with her and asked her about the ring etc. and told her what he had said to me. So I said to her now is the time to tell me everything and not have secret with me or there would be no point in us being with one another.

    She then said she had no more things to hide from me, so I asked her for all her passwords for all her email accounts and Facebook and Skype accounts she had 3 email accounts 2 Skype accounts and one Facebook that she has told me about. She gives me password to each one except one which she says she has to speak with me first.

    So I say ok lets talk and she starts to tell me before I come, she has been talking with someone she has been with before and he is due to come soon and she arranged to go with him when he arrives. So I ask her his name and she tell me and yes I remember she go with him behind my back before so now I go look her emails etc and find out that right up until the time I arrive in Bangkok, she had been going online and chatting with a few other guys she had been seeing behind her sponsors back and even a couple of days before I was due to arrive she told me that she was going to stay with her brother for 2 days other side of Bangkok and it would cost too much money to get taxi home to hers so she would stay there for 2 days.

    It turns out in email that one of her customers was arriving on the 29th of Jan and she was meeting him at the airport and staying with him for 2 days in Bangkok. So now I have seen this I ask her why she not tell me about this as she knew I was coming and right up until the day I arrive she had been with and planning to go with others and I said if you wish to carry on doing this, I will go to airport and go home and let you carry on with your life which she said no she did not want me to go and said sorry to me etc.

    Anyway, I am back home now and she is in contact with me daily and when am online she has no problem turning her computer around straight away for me to see if there is anyone else there and I also watch her sleep at night in our bed online.

    So my final thoughts are if anyone who is looking after a girl and wish her to be one hundred percent then if you asked her to turn her laptop etc around when your online with her without her delaying then you know she is being true to you but when she says she can not go online etc or is supposed to be at home but can not go online with you then she has something to hide from you.

    Have others had bad or good experience with their girl would be interesting to hear how others deal with having to keep a eye on things.

  3. #82
    Avatar von wayne

    Registriert seit
    sie war anders.. in den 9 monaten waren wir 24/7 zusammen ohne das sie je eine email oder sms geschrieben hat. allerdings hat es sich so entwickelt wie es ist, wo ihre freundin sicher auch einen grossen anteil daran hatte. ich habe auch fehler gemacht, denn ich habe sie sehr gekränkt in dem ich 1mal schluss gemacht habe. das danach ihr vertrauen nicht mehr 100% da war nehme ich auf meine kappe. die freundin hat ihr sicherlich versprochen, das sie in phuket schnell einen neuen farang finden wird, der goldkettchen und ringe locker macht... denn da stehen ja thai girls voll drauf.

  4. #83
    Avatar von Franky53

    Registriert seit
    und wie solls weitergehen?

  5. #84
    Avatar von Micha

    Registriert seit
    Zitat Zitat von sunnyboy Beitrag anzeigen
    @Micha, eine bestimte Familie in Udon hat doch bestimmt auch nicht geglaubt, dass du der zukünftige Ehepartner bist, oder ?
    Es heisst doch, die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt. Habe seit dem keine Eltern mehr besucht. Denn abgesehen von der Bedeutung die in Thailand traditionell so ein Vorstellungsbesuch ausmacht, sollte man nicht vergessen, dass überdies durch unzählige Farang beachtliche Maßstäbe monetärer Art gesetzt wurden.

  6. #85
    Avatar von wayne

    Registriert seit
    Zitat Zitat von Franky53 Beitrag anzeigen
    und wie solls weitergehen?
    Es geht immer irgendwie weiter. Nur anders halt. Aber es muss ja nicht heissen das es schlechter ist. Das ist mein Trost.

    Ich habe ihre Telefonnummer, SMS, Mails alles gelöscht. OK die Telefonnummer kann ich auswendig, aber um das abzuschliessen wollte ich einfach alles was ich mit ihr in Verbindung bringe aus meinen Augen haben. Fotos mit ihr habe ich erstmal auf ne DVD verfrachtet.

    Ich weiss das ich einen Anteil daran habe, das es so ist wie es ist. Ich habe ihr die Chance gegeben das wir neu anfangen aber auf Geldforderungen gehe ich nicht ein.

    Heute morgen schreibt sie mir ne SMS:
    Tirakkk Schatz jupp jupp. I love u. I miss u when u come back Thailand.
    Ich habe ihr geantwort: Money is now your Tirak, not me!

    Sie soll mich jetzt in Ruhe lassen, es ist schwer genug.

  7. #86
    Avatar von tira

    Registriert seit


    Zitat Zitat von wayne Beitrag anzeigen
    .....Ich weiss das ich einen Anteil daran habe, das es so ist wie es ist......

    ..... deine eingangsfrage spiegelt eigentlich wieder Thema: Beziehung ja/ nein? warste dir net bewußt um was es geht. war das mädel wirklich so gut, hätte ich sie nach den monaten des zusammenseins ggf. halt doch geheiratet und nach d geholt, schon um sie vom markt zu nehmen.

    der eingetretene ablauf war so in etwa vorhersehbar. die d visavergabe erzwingt so oftx die entscheidung hopp oder top

  8. #87
    Avatar von waanjai_2

    Registriert seit
    Zitat Zitat von tira Beitrag anzeigen
    .... die d visavergabe erzwingt so oftx die entscheidung hopp oder top
    Ja, leider. Also muß man mehr an nicht-sittenwidrige Eheverträge denken.

    Ansonsten empfinde ich inzwischen die Motivation des TS sich hier über die "vermeintliche Unausweichlichkeit seiner Entscheidungen" auszulassen, ein wenig viel narzistisch. Welche Hinweise auf die Realitäten und Traditionen in Thailand hat er denn überhaupt "aufgenommen"? Deshalb paßt die Erzählung ja auch so gut in eine Jerry Springer Show. "Warum ich die an die Luft gesetzt habe".

  9. #88
    Avatar von wayne

    Registriert seit
    Zitat Zitat von tira Beitrag anzeigen
    ..... deine eingangsfrage spiegelt eigentlich wieder Thema: Beziehung ja/ nein?[/URL] warste dir net bewußt um was es geht. war das mädel wirklich so gut, hätte ich sie nach den monaten des zusammenseins ggf. halt doch geheiratet und nach d geholt, schon um sie vom markt zu nehmen.
    Ich weiss mittlerweile das es in Thailand normal ist jung zu heiraten. Aber ich kann nach 9 Monaten nicht heiraten. Nach solch einer kurzen Zeit kenne ich sie nur oberflächlich. Und zu heiraten um mich dann ein halbes Jahr später wieder scheiden zu lassen habe ich keine Lust.
    war das mädel wirklich so gut...
    Ja war sie. Sie wird keine Probleme haben schnell einen neuen zu finden. Optisch Top. Aber das ist nun mal nicht alles.
    Jetzt kenne ich sie 1 1/2 Jahre und bin aufgrund der letzten Geldforderung froh das ich sie nicht geheiratet habe. Das ist wahrscheinlich ihr wahres Gesicht. Oder ich bin selbst daran schuld. Sorry, aber ich habe keine 10 Jahre Thailanderfahrung und schon gar nicht mit Beziehungen in Thailand.
    Zitat Zitat von waanjai_2 Beitrag anzeigen
    Welche Hinweise auf die Realitäten und Traditionen in Thailand hat er denn überhaupt "aufgenommen"?
    Ich weiss das gelogen und das über Probleme nicht gesprochen wird. Immer schön lachen und die Gefühle nicht zeigen. Das ist einerseits schön aber wenn etwas in einer Beziehung nicht stimmt, kann man nicht zum Partner sagen das alles okay ist. Wie soll man etwas ändern wenn man nicht weiss was dem anderen stört.
    Das die Familie vor dem Partner gestellt ist, ist ungewohnt.

  10. #89
    Avatar von wayne

    Registriert seit
    was soll ich dazu sagen?

    "okay i go home mai i'm sad same u! i hate phuket. "

    sie weiss selbst nicht was sie will

  11. #90
    Avatar von waanjai_2

    Registriert seit
    Zitat Zitat von wayne Beitrag anzeigen
    Das die Familie vor dem Partner gestellt ist, ist ungewohnt.
    Dann sollte man die Finger von asiatischen Frauen lassen. Dort ist halt aus verschiedenen Gründen die Reduktion auf das "Paar" und die "Kernfamilie" noch nicht so weit vorangeschritten - insofern man hierin einen auch wünschbaren Entwicklungstrend erkennt.

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