dann bloggen wir mal ... Vorurteile zur Thai - Farang Beziehung teil 3
vonam 03.06.10 um 01:28 (1926 Hits)
So this somewhat explains the sort of Thai women that most farangs manage to end up with. A good looking, even lower middle class Thai girl who doesn’t have any kids, is almost always going to prefer a Thai guy. But if she’s a single mother (or older) with little to no financial prospects, she’s going to have a difficult time finding a good Thai man. Especially if she’s not particularly attractive, by Thai standards. The fortunate thing for farangs (and other foreigners) is that there’s quite a few of these impoverished gals running around who aren’t attractive enough to land a good Thai man. And they’ve come to realize that no matter how butt-ugly Thai society sees them, there’s bound to be a farang who finds them attractive. So it’s still a target-rich environment. Do you know what a Thai woman means when she says “Thai men no good?” It actually means “Thai men no find me attractive and I’m dirt poor. So...Thai men no good!”
Some other random thoughts: Mr. Stick, you’ve had some Thai gals write in and to be honest, they’re doing your readership a disservice. Because they are simply not normal Thai women. One of your Green Star submissions was a gal named JTG. Well, she made some good points but she left out the most crucial—the communication aspect! Because most farangs in Thailand don’t speak much Thai and most normal Thai women don’t speak much English. How in God’s name can you have a meaningful relationship when you can’t communicate? If it’s the superficial kind, where she provides you the 5ex and companionship and you provide the finances, then fine. But that’s all you’ve got. Don’t be surprised if she hungers for a normal relationship, that with which only a Thai guy can provide.
Lastly, let’s give the much maligned Thai guys a fair assessment. After all, they seem to have this rep amongst the farang community, yet, still manage to get all the hot Thai babes (gay farang guys like them as well, although I’m not real knowledgeable of that scene). Well I know quite a few Thai guys. Great guys. Well meaning, honest, hard-working, etc. I can honestly say that they’re not much different than the average guy of any nationality. They understand Thai women much better than any farang. And like any nationality, there are good Thai guys and there are bad. But you have to consider the circumstances. For example, the child support issue. I know that non-payment of child support is a big problem in the US. They even have a name for such guys, Deadbeat Dads. The US government has had to create draconian laws to get farang guys to pay child support. It’s about as serious as not paying your taxes nowadays, a freakin felony in some states. Yet, many farang guys STILL refuse to pay child support in the appropriate amounts and sometimes none at all. So if you consider Thailand, where no such strict enforcement is available, then of course there will be Deadbeat Dads in Thailand. There’s quite a few farang guys who have abandoned their Thai wives and half-breeds. And the other issue of fidelity—heck, not much to explain here. Farang guys in Thailand are as likely, if not more, to cheat on their spouse as any Thai guy, due simply to the availability. Enough said.
So what’s the point of all this? How is this going to help farang guys avoid the pitfalls of dubious relationships with Thai women? The farang guy just needs to temper his expectations. Let’s face it, you are not the normal Thai girl’s dream guy. Not by a long shot. However, if she possesses the traits from List #1, you can certainly be her savior. That’s not the same thing as being her dream guy. In a lot of cases, Thai women who go after farang guys have pretty much given up on love. They’ve gotten practical. Pragmatic. They’re in it for the payoff. Not necessarily to rip off a farang. Sometimes, just for financial security, for her and her family. She sees that as noble. A personal sacrifice. So she’ll go out with you, sleep with you, marry you...heck, she might even like you. But love? Doesn’t happen that often with farang guys. The only truly successful farang/Thai relationships I’ve seen involved great communication. Meaning, either he speaks Thai fluently, or she speaks his language fluently. It seems that it would be easier for said couples living in Thailand if the guy were to learn Thai. Heck, you’re around it all the time. For a Thai gal to learn English when she’s listening to Thai all day long every single day is just not realistic. The best she can hope for is that pathetic bargirl English. That’s why as a group, the most proficient English-speakers are probably the bargirls. It’s their job.
So farangs are still dating the wrong Thai women because of their own ineptness, getting burned, and then painting all Thai women as dishonest, immature, greedy, childish, etc. Well obviously, these traits are confined mostly to Thai women who date farangs. Normal Thai women aren’t like that. Not to say every Thai/Thai relationship is perfect, but Thai/Thai seems to be a better pairing than even farang/farang. Farang/Thai? Not even close. I’m sure there are farangs in Thailand who don’t speak Thai nor care to and insists that their marriage or relationship with a Thai girl is great. I don’t believe that for a second. According to him maybe. It probably sucks for her. If you want to improve your chances with a normal Thai girl, you need to live here, learn the language, have some Thai male friends, and get it out of your head that you’re every Thai women’s desire. Open your eyes and look around. You’re not.
For any readers who did not work it out, Jayson is a Thai guy (who has written a few submission in the past).
It's so refreshing to read something that cuts through the bullshit. I don't doubt that this submission will bother / upset a good number of readers and I will agree that there are a few generalisations but I have to say I agree with 90% of what Jayson says.
There is perhaps one thing that Jayson did not touch on, and as a Thai guy he might not realise this. I think there are plenty of Westerners married to Thai women and living in Thailand (this part is important) who do not actually seek a perfect marriage. It is, in some ways, "convenient" for them to be married to a Thai woman while working in Thailand and they perhaps do not treat their wife as well as they would a Western woman (or perhaps as they did a previous wife(s))
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